Diet Rules For Cheaters.how do you cheat?

???Bored asked:


If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.

Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.

Cookie pieces contain no fat– the process of breaking causes fat leakage. Exception: Cookies sold by TEXAS D’LITES distributors. Great “Meal Replacement” with little or no FAT content, low in calories, lots of fiber, protein, and other nutritional ingredients.

Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE:

Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.
oh i wish these were true, lol

Slim down – remove fat

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 24th, 2009 and is filed under Jokes & Riddles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

8 Responses to “Diet Rules For Cheaters.how do you cheat?”

  1. missy on May 24th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
  2. Crazy Buzy Princess on May 28th, 2009 at 1:12 am

    Slim down – remove fat

    Food consumed after exercise, or in air flying has NO calories

  3. kandy p on May 30th, 2009 at 10:46 am

    Lose weight now – Stay slim forever

    whatever why would you been on a diet if the only thing you want to do is cheat

  4. honeybun on June 2nd, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    Smart Weight Loss Free Report

    good one
    but you for got that food consumed during the holidays does not count

  5. Minmi on June 5th, 2009 at 5:44 am

    Need to lose weight?

    That’s so sad. People universally delude themselves, don’t they?

  6. mikejonesg2132 on June 6th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
  7. Some1 on June 9th, 2009 at 10:26 am

    Smart Weight Loss Free Report

    very creative… i loved the last one the most. how about: if it is made to look natural (chocolate carrots), it has the properties of the natural food. if it has something good for you in it (like milk in ice/whipped cream, carrots in carrot cake, apples in apple pie, etc.)

  8. non-toxic on June 11th, 2009 at 12:58 am

    Metabolism and Your Weight

    hahaha, That was a good list.

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